Stories chat


Privy To Private Privy Talk
(I’m talking to my boyfriend on a group text chat. We share the group with some very close friends. I’m currently texting him in private.)

Me: “Hey, babe. I’m so bored!”

Boyfriend: “Well, why don’t you come over?”

Me: “Still at work. OMG! I need to fart, bad style!”

Boyfriend: “Autocorrect right?”

Me: *ignoring his message* “My farts are trying to dig a hole in my bum and escape! They are on the verge of falling out! I need to get out of work quickly!”

Boyfriend: “[My Name], stop

Me: “… this isn’t private message is it

Boyfriend: “Dig a hole and bury yourself




So Punny It Hertz, 2.0

(My girlfriend and I are both geeks. We had ‘geek sex’ (Bluetooth pairing our phones) long before we were officially dating. We are texting.)

Girlfriend: “I will try to remember that, but remembering things around you is difficult because I look at you and my mind clears of random information. You are the magnet to my hard drive.”

Me: “I’m usually the one with a hard drive when you are around.”

Girlfriend: “Maybe you need to reinsert into my port.”

Me: “Hopefully my peripheral is compatible. Is your port backwards compatible?”

Girlfriend: “I thought you weren’t interested in a backwards port.”

Me: “I’m not, but I needed to continue the computer 
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